Reflections and Intentions…Part One

As the young’uns, childless, and empty-nesters on my Facebook chime in 2014 at fun locations, Big Daddy Orange and I just put Tangerine down to bed at home.  I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.  It is Tangerine’s second New Year’s Eve.  Check out what a difference a year makes!  Can you believe 2013 shrank his suit?! 😉

The difference is not just in physical size of course.  Man, last year I was not in a good place.  Last year at this time, Tangerine was a little over two months old and I was STILL recovering from the C-section I never wanted and the infection that made it all oh so worse.  While my postpartum depression was in full swing almost all year, I am thankful that I did have MOMENTS of clarity – and one of those was last NYE.
My husband and I have both agreed this is our least favorite holiday of all time.  I’m not sure if I hate New Year’s because I love Christmas so much and it just stinks to be right past it?  Or maybe because it always meant going back to school.  Perhaps it’s due to it being a partying holiday which I was never part of as a teen or college student (I unfortunately made up for lost time in my early-to-mid twenties…).  I think mostly, though, I despise the way NYE feels.  It feels uncomfortable.  Looking back on one year while looking ahead to another.  It’s just too scary for thinkers like me who usually reflect all the time anyway, and it feels like I need to do it extra tonight or something!  Yuck.

Not to mention it is a lot of pressure!  We celebrate New Year’s Eve like it sets the tone for the entire next year.  So when I’ve had a crappy NYE…I feel pretty defeated already.  “It’s all over.  Going to be another terrible year!”.  I only jest...a little bit.  Sure, all holidays can involve this pressure to make it perfect, but ugh…there is just something about this one for me.  Did you ever watch the NYE’s countdowns?  Listen to the statements the hosts make and watch the annoying people.  They are the worst, and just another reason why I can’t stand Carson Daly.

So anyway…last New Year’s, Big Daddy Orange and I didn’t bother dragging out the baby to be part of the celebration.  We avoided it like the plaque and made it pretty much like any other night.  That is why it was my favorite NYE ever.  We got to enjoy our little babyworld together and forget everything else.  This year, we are doing the same.  We are making shrimp, lobster tail, mussels (Go Chef Daddy Orange!), herbed goat cheese, KerryGold cheddar, and crackers.  I will get up with Tangerine a couple of times tonight as the fireworks and gunshots wake him up, me cursing the world under my breath.  Tomorrow, we will greet a jumping baby boy with “Happy New Year!” and I will make the “good luck” pork, sauerkraut, and black eyed peas.  Another perfect MOMENT.  If this is “getting old”, then color me geezer!

Whatever you are doing tonight – be it whooping it up at a big event, celebrating with a small group, watching the fun on TV, or forgetting about it all together – I hope you can avoid the pressure of tonight dictating a tone for your next 365 days.  Ignore the “fresh starts” and “clean slates”…you can choose to have those any day you want, because EVERY DAY is a new one and a new chance to create the MOMENTS you want.

But Happy New Year anyway, if you’re in to that sort of thing.

—Check Out Part Two Here – “What are you taking away from 2013?   What are you leaving behind?”—

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